Here is a brief update! More info to come. I leave Sunday! THANK YOU THANK YOU to all who helped!
If you would like to be praying please click here to pick a day to cover!
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/18RL_dcN8UF4Cqgvp3Uc4mxReIVTHiHDSVQ14RbM68y8/viewform
Now I’ve remembered my blog exists…haha I keep thinking of things to post.
LOVING this five minute worship clip right now!
Especially good at full volume… everything comes into perspective when you give him glory 🙂
Click here to see it!
For those of you that have been wondering what I am doing next…
that is not the subject of this post!
I am flying from Redding CA to London in early June, having finished my third year at Bethel, but what I do next is yet to be decided. However I am excited about venturing into the unknown adventure ahead of me!
The first stage of that, is that I have, slight randomly but excitingly, been given the opportunity to go to Bulgaria, Romania and Turkey on a missions trip with Georgian and Winnie Banov in June. This is something that I honestly have never considered before now, and I have a pretty fun and bizarre story of how God led me to the trip, and why I feel that I am supposed to go. It is a surprise to me probably more than anyone else! I feel excited about what God is going to teach me on the trip, and more so about serving what the Banov’s are doing in this region – this looks like a lot of ministry to and feeding the poor and street outreach, primarily in the gypsy areas and sharing the grace and love of God as we go. This is somewhere they have been ministering for 20 years, so I am excited to see what the fruit of that looks like and add in my own energy to support that.
So, please could you pray for me? For the radical release of the love of God and also for the release of the finances necessary for this trip. I am asking if you would pray about supporting me in this venture – I am absolutely unconcerned if you cannot give, so please feel free to choose and listen to God as you personally hear, and do whatever he says. I trust Him not any person, and I will not take it personally in any way! This is simply my response to where I feel him leading me and so this is my step of faith.
The first thing I have to cover is a $450 deposit as soon as possible. (about 267GBP, not much!)
If you feel led to support this – I would be so thankful! You can click here to give online https://globalcelebration.wufoo.com/forms/bulgariaturkeyromania-l-2014-invoice-40702937/ and click to give by card, and write in my name ‘Philippa Udy’ in the ‘Name of Trip Participant’ section.
(If you do this, please could you also send me an email to philippa.udy@gmail.com letting me know as I am not sure if I will be notified, and it would be good to know what is still due.)
Thank you so much for your prayers. Any support, great or small, will enable me to share the love of Christ in an otherwise spiritually dark past of the world. I pray your heart will be moved to pray for the people of Romania, Bulgaria, and Turkey.
And that you will be mightily blessed by our good father today in whatever you are doing! 🙂
I look forward to sharing with you the testimony of what God does with me there and how He radically provides all the finances to get me there! EEEEE (aka excited face!)
Anyone who has ever attempted to write a book will definitely relate to me when I say it requires, and teaches, whoever chooses to undertake the task, a large amount of perseverance. I have taken this week off school, as I felt God told me to give time to getting my book done. Now is the time! So I am on day 10 of writing, and its been intense! Not just physically or mentally tiring, but it has also felt like it has taken some spiritual perseverance to continue and make progress. (for those of you who don’t know, I’m writing a revival history book about an awakening in Russia in the 1870s/1880s 🙂 )
I have had a feeling, at the same time, that this is a bigger theme, relevant to more people than just me, tucked away with my iPad, on my writing journey. I have heard stories from friends, and words shared in many different church services, that all seem to connect and it seems like a bunch of other people are on the same road together, learning to be over-comers, and to strengthen our faith.
I have been reading James, which is totally relevant:
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” James 1:2-5
… the idea of being mature and complete? Yes please! Perseverance… um… maybe not my first choice, because you have to persevere through something, don’t you? Doesn’t sound fun, but it is good!
So again, I am choosing to be thankful for the chance to grow some muscle in the spirit, and asking God a lot for wisdom for the process! One thing that has surprised me is how God has been speaking to me and showing me about how there is a rhythm to balancing perseverance and rest. I can’t just continue forever without a break, and I need to love myself in the process. So I have been asking him, again, for wisdom about how to do each day, and learning to listen to myself about what I need, when to push forward, and when to love myself and go and have fun!
I have also been thinking a lot about what it means for me to lean into God, rather than try to fight and fix everything myself. He is teaching me it’s ok to just ‘be’ and trust Him; rather than to try to find a solution, or to get everything fixed, complete or perfect.
Some days it just takes me posturing my heart to lean into Him, find His love, or let His love find me, and continue from that place, rooted and established in love. It makes a big difference!
So for those of you who may relate to this journey – I came across this Bobby Conner word on facebook yesterday, and it was really encouraging for me! So if you have been in a position where you feel like you need to press on and overcome… take five minutes and have a read. 🙂
Become An Overcomer
by Bobby Conner
February 01, 2014
This is a season of confrontation and contending to overcome every pitfall that our foe the devil puts in our pathway. With bold, brave determination, we must be relentless in our pursuit of God’s holy Presence!
You shall hide them in the secret place of Your Presence From the plots of man; You shall keep them secretly in a pavilion From the strife of tongues. (Psalm 31:20)
Hold back nothing—none of your hidden agendas, selfish ambitions, old grudges, and unforgiveness. Confess every sin that the Holy Spirit brings to your awareness and continue to ask Him for a spirit of repentance. Do not take lightly the urgency of the hour: put your very best effort into a passionate, unrelenting, moment-by-moment, pursuit of God. Establishing the Kingdom of God in your life must be your top priority.
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. (Matthew 6:33)
A key focus in drawing ever closer to God, is seeking to extract out of your life, absolutely everything, that hinders you from drawing near:
Therefore, since these great promises are ours, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from everything that contaminates and defiles body and spirit, and bring our consecration to completeness in the [reverential] fear of God. (2 Corinthians 7:1)
Pray fervently for the Holy Spirit to reveal to you any and all filthiness of your flesh or your spirit. Have you come into agreement with devilish spirits of accusation and rejection? With spirits of bitterness and unforgiveness? Have you given in to an unloving spirit? Have you given into a spirit of anger or fear? Do you live with a burden of shame, guilt, or regret concerning the past? Beloved, recognize these emotions for what they are: works of the enemy to destroy your soul and keep you from your inheritance, the manifest Presence of God! Renounce your agreement with these evil works of darkness and repent from your sins, receiving the Lord’s mercy and forgiveness by the Blood of His Cross.
Only then will you be free to abide in Christ and enjoy God’s magnificent Presence.
How do we cast off this filthiness of the flesh and spirit? Spend time worshiping God and confessing His Word over your life. Renew your mind by meditating on the Word of God, especially Scriptures calling us to walk in holiness and the fear of the Lord. Pull down “every thought to the obedience of Christ”:
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5)
Fear exalts itself against the knowledge of Christ— pull it down! It is disobedience. Unforgiveness exalts itself against the knowledge of Christ—pull it down! It is disobedience. Accusations, bitterness, rejection—pull them all down! Coming into agreement with the lies of the enemy is no less than rebellion and disobedience. Take hold of your thoughts and be vigilant. Let no unholy thought take root in your mind or heart. The enemy may make suggestions and whisper lies that may sound like your own inner voice, but know that these are the temptations of hell. Resist temptation, open your heart to the love of God, and turn your mind back to the Word of God.
Magnificent and transforming results will transpire for us when we cleanse ourselves “from everything that contaminates and defiles body and spirit” and enter into God’s Presence. As we, with an open heart, behold Him, we will be transformed more and more into His image.
You will show me the path of life; in Your Presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore. (Psalm 16:11)
As we learn to walk in holiness and the fear of the Lord, the Spirit of God will release light for our pathway and peace and joy for our life. Be certain of this: only in Christ’s Presence will we find overwhelming joy, which endures through any circumstance.
For with You is the fountain of life; in Your light do we see light. (Psalm 36:9)
And also be certain of this: only in Christ’s Presence can we experience victorious life, instruction, and illumination. No believer needs to stumble about in darkness. Simply lift your eyes and follow the Lord.
For You will light my lamp; The Lord my God will enlighten my darkness. (Psalm 18:28)
The revealed Word of God states:
This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin. (1 John 1:5-7)
As we yield to and abide in Christ, His radiant love and light literally beam outward from our life. Let your light shine bright during these days!
Beloved, this is the time to arise and shine. Boldly becoming the victorious overcomer you are destined to be (see Roman 8:37).
I am sitting writing, and being thankful for so much that God has been teaching me. (And for some of you, beautiful friends, who have been encouraging, praying and supporting me these last few days).
Above all the thoughts that have been swirling around my head, so many of my friends and I here are on the same theme together of sensing a fresh desire and call to devote ourselves to The Lord. To surrender the pieces and moments of our lives and days and hearts. That is ultimately all we are born for.
He is so worthy, and I just want Him to pick me up, use me, enjoy me and to lay my life as a fragrant offering at His feet.
So as I am sitting working today, I am listening to this song on repeat. And wanted to share it with all of you.
🙂
It is written by Julie Meyer for Heidi Baker – someone who is such a crazy beautiful example of a devoted laid down life to The Lord.
Enjoy!
You can also find in a link under that video, a reference to a full version of the song, live on http://www.ibethel.tv
I have also been stuck listening to Tim Hughes seriously powerful worship set at Bethel this last Sunday – which also had a theme of surrender and being set apart for God. I really recommend if you have more time (its over an hour long, and SO worth the time) you take a look at that. Click here to find it. Powerful stuff.
Today I am taking a moment to remember! His goodness never ceases and His mercies are new every morning! And it’s the morning, and I’m remembering.
Sometimes the fuel to move forwards is found in taking a step, or a look back, and remembering who He has been to you, what He has done for you and where He has met you, brought you, saved you, blessed you…
I love this topic. I can’t right now remember if I have blogged about this before, but I am remembering, again, and pondering things He has done with me these last few years.
At the end of our second year at school here we took some time to remember what He had done for us that year – we took stones, and wrote on them with markers the things He had done in the previous two years. We then took a silent walk to an area of the campus where we laid our stones in a pile, to build a place of remembrance like the Israelites did so often, to lay our memorial stones as a permanent statement of where He had brought us.
At the beginning of this year, my third year, I took a walk down there and was surprised to find myself weeping as I remembered His overriding faithfulness that defeated every obstacle, His ability to position me in the lessons and heart journeys He knew I needed that I would never have taken of my own accord, how He taught me aspects of His nature and heart that have changed my life and outlook forever.
On a recent trip to Omaha (which I mentioned in a previous blog), I was able to (thanks to airmiles and gifts from a few friends), take some more physical steps to remember the most significant week I had with The Lord last year, visiting an outpouring of Holy Spirit which was happening in a prayer centre there. Something about walking in the same steps that I had walked in before both brought me into new waves of thankfulness for His past workings in my life, but also brought me into a new encounter with Him. A good friend of mine often says, ‘whatever you are thankful for, is going to increase’ and I could certainly feel new waves of Holy Spirit pouring in as I took time to remember how He has met me before.
This week is also a week when many of us are remembering with thankfulness, on the 20th anniversary of the outpouring of Holy Spirit which began in Toronto in 1994 and has changed so many thousands of lives and drawn so many people closer to God. Remembering is causing me to hunger for so much more in the next twenty years!
And then this morning, I sat in a prayer meeting and we were remembering again the faithfulness of The Lord. We asked Him to remind us of significant past moments with Him, which we could then thank Him for. I found myself remembering nine years ago, when I stood in a room in an old (slightly mouldy) cold warehouse in Toronto and learnt to love the presence of God, and so many seeds of what I now live were planted in me as I spent time there pursuing God. So many situations in just the following year came to mind, situations that were different because of that moment, but I can’t imagine how many more there have been since then! He positions us so perfectly for increase, for our destiny, for where we are headed! Hindsight is such a beautiful gift, and what it shows us of His ability to piece together the puzzle pieces of our lives is mindblowing!
Take a moment today to remember – who He is, what He has done, and what He has been to you.
Sometimes looking back can be our greatest weapon to moving forward.
And for those who may like a song to go with that – this is one that is circling around my head and has been so significant to me at different moments of my journey this year – take some time, click this link and stick it on repeat and enjoy! 🙂
“…for I have learnt to be satisfied with whatever I have. I know what it means to lack, and I know what it means to experience overwhelming abundance. For I’m trained in the secret of overcoming all things, whether in fullness or in hunger. And I find that the strength of Christ’s explosive power infuses me to conquer every difficulty.”
Philippians 4:11b-13, Passion Translation
What does it take for you to be satisfied in your daily life? What is it you dream of, or wait to fall into place in life in order to feel peace?
In the last few months I have been getting rocked by the simple revelation, that the God, my God, who stirs a desire in me, is also my daily satisfaction. He is the author of my dreams, but the very reason I can be content without them. Let that sink in and mess with your head!
He is enough, but the one who keeps me seeking after more.
He is the author of my hunger, and fully satisfying at the same time.
He is my provider, and He is all that I need before the provision comes.
He can never be understood! Yet my life is a pursuit of wanting to understand Him more.
The existence of tension in His nature keeps me connected to Him. Wow. I am so thankful for the things I don’t understand. The keep me leaning, and keep me close to Him. I have been learning a bunch about being thankful whatever life looks like. This last week, that gets applied, for one, to those things I don’t understand. But for the sake of this blog, I am going to jump back to the beginning of my journey into knowing Him as daily satisfaction.
I took the opportunity, a few months ago to sit in on a meeting with a pastor in the school of ministry here. I had noticed he had some wisdom I wanted to hear more of, so I jumped at the chance just to get to listen as he chatted to some second year students. And he threw out a one liner that changed my life! Time well spent. He was discussing how he has stewarded favour in his life, and he said that the biggest thing he had done to steward favour was to steward thankfulness. He then went on to tell us about the early days of his marriage, when they had very little material possessions, but he would sit on his couch, and get so thankful for his couch, TV and stereo that he would weep. Yes, weep.
Cue conviction/uncomfortable feeling. Cry with thankfulness??! I don’t remember the last time I did that, I thought. That is something I should fix.
I started, following his example, with what I could see, and a few days later, sat in my bed, thanking God for what was around me – Thank you God for a roof over my head, that I’m not sleeping in the rain! – Thank you God for my shoe hanger on my closet door, a gift from my old roommate, it makes such a difference to my organisation of my closet! – Thank you God for my sheets, high quality, they may be old, but I love that my mum bought them for me years ago when I went to university! – Thank you God for my soft blanket on my bed, I love it! – Thank you God for what I can see, my clothes, my bed, my speakers, my printer… I am so blessed!
If you just start with what you can see, you will no doubt get rocked at how amazing your own life is!! Then try taking a moment to realise, and be thankful, for the fact that you can even see at all…!
I started asking myself, why should I get more thankful for a large financial gift like $2000, than for when someone gives me a cup of coffee? I mean, it’s all a gift from Him! So I started working on getting thankful for coffee! I started writing down every time I got given a coffee in my journal, and on the page opposite, I started writing every aspect of the nature of God I could see in those things. It’s amazing how much you can miss when you are not thankful; as soon as I started doing this, I realised even backwards the blessings I had received that had passed me by! And in those cups of coffee, I could see God, my provider; God, who knows what I like!; God who cares about the small things; God whose blessings are tangible; God who provides for my wants as well as my needs; God who is generous; God who surprises me; God who knows me; God who sneaks up on me with encounters… and the list goes on!!
I wonder if sometimes when we are looking for God, or an answer from Him, He has hidden himself within circumstances around us, and is just waiting for us to look into the details, and find him, as were, in the cup of coffee! He loves to be sought out.
Then I started realising, I could be just as thankful when one of my friends gets bought a coffee, instead of me, and even more so when she gets my favourite coffee, and gives me a sip! There is no limit to how small a situation can be a source of thankfulness, and an invitation to encounter. He is waiting for us in the small things!
Suddenly, I just started getting so happy! Journeying into thankfulness literally changed my perspective, and as I have been choosing it, I have been realising I don’t need to wait for this dream to happen, that bank balance I’m waiting for, or that problem to be solved, to know fulfillment – and it is Jesus, My Daily Satisfaction. He is in everything, if I take a moment to see Him.
He is the God who gives me a desire for more, or births a dream in me, but He is My Daily Satisfaction both now, on the road to my dreams, and once I get there.
Fun things have started happening as I’ve shared this with people. One day I walked up to a friend (I was actually in a stressed mood, if I’m honest!) and said to him, “Zach, I’m thankful that God gave you breath today!” I mean, even our very BREATH is a gift from Him (wow!). As I said it, he told me later, God instantly healed his cold (which was restricting his breathing)! Wow God! Thankfulness is powerful!
I have heard people say before, that whatever we are thankful for from God, will increase, and I think I am beginning to experientially understand what that means. And it starts with my perspective – the way I see God makes room for more of Him in my life.
Right now as I sit, honestly, asking Him for a bunch of answers to prayers, and looking at things in my life, which despite all my blessings, I am still waiting to see God change, I am even thankful for the chance to sit, and write this blog, and remember what he has been teaching me over a few months about this. I am beyond thankful for my breath, this day and this life He gave me to live, and for Him, the God of the universe, that lavishes love on me, all day, every day, that I live and breathe.
Whether in lack or abundance, I am learning, what it means to be satisfied, and this has been the big key I have found.
Jesus is Our Daily Satisfaction.
So here’s me inviting you to join me on the quest to experience more and more of what that really means, as I chase answers to prayer, dreams fulfilled, and all those good things that He loves… ultimately HE is my Great Reward. And I am thankful for Him.
Dear friends across the globe,
I’m sorry it’s been a while since I shared my random thoughts with you. I have now made it to Christmas break, hoorah, and so thought I would send you all an update of what life has been looking like and how I am doing, before I continue to get back to writing my general life ponderings that people seem to enjoy reading. (More of those will come across the break, for those of you who are wondering.)
If you don’t have time to read, I have a few prayer points at the bottom and some photos… enjoy, and feel free to skip right on down to them!
So last time I wrote I was a short time away from a ministry trip I was able to make to San Diego. (thank you friends who helped me go!) We went down with a group of students, and my mentor, Shane, to connect with a church plant there called Awakening. The main aim of this trip was to go and connect with the people there with a view to building relationships that enable us to create a platform for ministry on future trips to the same church. In other words, it was about building, long term, and so in this case that looked more like the everyday ministry, creating connection with a church family, than standing on a platform. And I loved it! It’s not that I don’t love the platform too (as those of you who have heard me preach will know!), but I found it really powerful to take a different perspective on how to do ministry and bless churches effectively. We had a some meetings with their leadership team where we talked a lot about that stuff and God used the whole trip to bring me into a bunch of new conversation with Him about how I approach ministry and bring family and connection to the centre of that. As Bill says ‘Heaven’s government is family’ so if we want to see the kingdom come, it starts with family and connection. Plus I got to stay with a divine setup of a host home – Amanda – who loves a bunch of the same things I do – so we had some great early morning coffee dates, gazing at the sea as we drove there and celebrating what life looks like for those who dream. Fun! I also had a close encounter with a hippo at San Diego Zoo (best zoo EVER!) which has made me more facebook popular than I have felt for a while… haha! Apparently everyone loves hippos/my hippo face!
Since then I have been back continuing to serve pastoring in our revival group of 65ish students – this looks like a bunch of student meetings and mentoring, running a homegroup, and helping to run our revival group weekly meetings. I’ve also been helping with some prayer meetings and worship nights, as well as generally loving driving my car (YES! so fun! and a continual gift to my life and ministry). I’ve also restarted writing my book, and am hoping to make some serious headway on getting that on paper (well, onto a computer/ipad screen) over the Christmas break provided I get over the current bout of flu!
That aside I have been really really enjoying life. I have been getting rocked by the revelation that God is my daily satisfaction as well as the author of my dreams, and how much it changes life to get really deeply thankful for the small things (saving the detail on that for another blog); I have been thriving as I realise that as I get thankful for now, it stops me feeling like I am lacking today because of the things I don’t yet have. Wow. I am amazed how much there has been a grace to learn a lot whilst leading at the same time, and I have been learning far more than I can put in one blog – this year really is changing my life and growing me in deep ways which I didn’t expect. I am so thankful for each day I get to live!
Looking forward – I am not making it back to England for Christmas as I don’t have the money to fly (sad times) but I am excited about getting some rest in Redding, and also a last minute trip I now have planned back to Omaha to visit some friends and go to the Onething conference at ihop. I had a flight miracle and managed to get part of it for free with miles, and the other part paid for by a couple of seriously kind hearted friends (mixed with an incredible deal), and am so excited to have something I am excited about being in America for over the holidays. Hope you all have beautiful family times over Christmas wherever you are as well!
If you would like to be praying for me, here are a few things I would love prayer for:
– money! I am almost totally out of it. I have no doubt that it will all work out, because it always does, and The Lord is an incredible Provider! But because I know many of you would like to know and pray, I will just about make it to pay my January rent (about 220pounds a month), and then I will be completely out of money. So I would love prayer for this. If you would also like to give please do let me know. Life is cheap here, especially compared to London, and so every little given does go a really long way.
– specifically (aside from food, rent money), I am also aware my car is making a few weird noises… I will be getting it looked at just after Christmas, so your prayers for the money to actually fix it would be hugely appreciated!!! Or that my car gets healed, which I also consider an actual possibility 🙂
– vision and direction for the future – wierdly, half way through the year conversations are already erupting as to where everyone is going next – my summary is I have no idea what God is saying yet… so please do pray for my conversations with him and anything The Lord leads you to pray about this!
– for this Christmas season of resting and refocussing on The Lord – I feel like this is going to be a really significant few weeks for me with The Lord – I would love your prayer as I do it away from home, for the right connections with people at the right times, but most importantly for beautiful times with Jesus – He truly is my full satisfaction and is more than enough!
Merry merry Christmas!
Much love to you all,
Philly
Here are a few more photos – some bizarre snowy palm trees – crazy California – I had my feet in sand and then two weeks later they were in six inches of snow! (Not normal I hasten to add) And that is a photo of my housemates and me after we decorated our Christmas tree 🙂
So… some days, actually make that all days, it is a good idea to remember the testimony of the Lord in your life. Psalm 119:111 describes this well – ‘your testimonies I have taken as a heritage forever, for they are the rejoicing of my heart.” One of the things I love about the Psalms, is that every time you see the writer having a bad day… they may let out all of their sorrow and struggle, but they so often finish with thankfulness!
So today, I am feeling a bit tired and weary, and it suddenly occurred to me that today is the best day to get to celebrate something God has done! This is a long one, but it is good! So get a coffee, take some time out and here is a blog I have been meaning to write for quite a few weeks. I am sorry it has taken me some time to give you this story; in my heart that was because I wanted to write it well, but therefore it often seemed like there was never quite time! So here it is… This is the story of how God (through the hands of many of you, faithful friends), gave me a car; but not just any car, he invited me into a crazy journey of understanding who He is.
This story starts in March this year. Many of you will remember that I made a trip to Omaha, Nebraska, to pursue God’s presence and experience an outpouring of the Holy Spirit that was happening there. That is totally a story for another time – but it was the best five days of my life so far up to that point. God showed me how He had been speaking to me about that time and place for almost a year before that. He taught me new things about His goodness, His voice, and His nearness. He changed my standard for who He is, what is possible when He is around, and what I will see Him do throughout my life. I left more in love with Him than before, with a load of new friends, and a different person. Significantly for me, on the way home, amongst many other bizarre signs (a way God has used to grab my attention quite a lot since then), our rental car home from the airport in San Francisco was upgraded to a Red Mustang. This was funny because a week earlier, after a chat with a friend who loved these cars, I had joked ‘wouldn’t it be fun if we got upgraded to a Red Mustang??!’. We walked up to the rental car counter, and the guy looked at us and said ‘I have a 2014 Red Mustang for you if you’d like it?’ Haha. It was really significant to me of walking out of one beautiful experience and into increase. God was coming with me from Omaha, back home to California.
Fast forward a few months, and I had applied and been accepted for my third year internship with Shane, a pastor in the school of ministry here. I was sitting in a cute new coffee shop in Redding with my brother-in-law and talking about how I really wanted to be a great intern, and serve well, and great interns had cars, but I didn’t feel like I had faith for a car. I have done two years of school here without a car (give or take a few months of generous friends lending me cars), and it has been a challenge in a country not designed for those without wheels. He turned the tables back on me and said the following – ‘the question is not do you have faith for a car, but do you think you are worth one?’ Ouch. I knew I didn’t. ‘And’, he continued ‘if you think you are worth one, you’ll probably get one.’ Wow. I knew I had something tangible I could work on.
A few days later I was sitting with my now mentor, Shane, and telling him about this, and for some reason cracked a joke about wouldn’t it be funny if God gave me a Red Mustang? Smiling, he asked me if I would get a convertible if I got one. ‘Clearly,’ I responded, ‘why would you get one and not get a convertible??!’ It felt like the most ludicrous statement in the world to someone from England, where convertibles are viewed generally as both unnecessary and over-extravagent. I left that meeting and went to a home group, and parked right behind a red mustang, convertible, with the roof down. Laughing, I texted Shane a photo.
This began a week of crazy mustang sightings. No kidding, within a week, me and one friend had seen over 100 Mustangs. We sent each other voice messages when we did, and laughed and laughed as it carried on. I stopped counting after about five days. It was crazy, my friend would think about God’s goodness, and how she thought he was going to give me a car, and then she would see a mustang. She would get out her phone to tell me and then as she was messaging me more would drive past. The bizarre coincidences continued… I picked out my ideal car online (for fun, why not dream?!) and then drove past the exact model for sale in a random car park later that same day. Same seat colour, roof colour, everything. Ridiculous. I emailed them to find out what it was selling for, even though my bank balance was below zero… just to push the door and see if God would do anything (you never know! Faith acts!).
I realised (not surprisingly) that God was talking to me. Using my reason, I figured (not believing he would actually give me a red mustang – let’s remember I didn’t have faith for, or think I was worth, God giving me any old bad car at all!) that even if God wasn’t saying He would give me that car, he was clearly sending me a message – I am worth a Red Mustang. So every time I saw one, I started seeing it as Him telling me, ‘Girl, you’re worth it. You’re worth it. YOU’RE WORTH IT!’
He was changing the way I think.
Fast forward a few months, and I had spent my summer back in England, where there are NO Mustangs. (Believe me, I looked). My friend who had also been seeing them had spent the summer on mission in Mozambique (not surprisingly, there are also no Mustangs there). In response to the above story, I figured I should do something about this, and set up the fundraiser that many of you will have seen on my blog and facebook. Honestly, it was a challenge for me to humble myself and do that, but when God is talking, it is worth listening! I figured, worst case scenario, was I humbled myself and got no money… no big deal.
And then as a bit of money began to come in, my friend, Alyssa, who had been in Mozambique, started seeing Mustangs again. I didn’t. (Proves it is not normal to see so many!). I got to the stage where yes, I believed I could afford to buy a cheap (ÂŁ1000ish) car… praise Jesus! Somehow I was going to be able to serve well and be an intern with a car. I told some of my team here, and someone said to me ‘not just any car… a Red Mustang.’ My internal response was ‘if that happened, it would mess with my head so much I would have to change my whole paradigm of God’s abundance.’ I knew I could work on that before then, but I still really didn’t think it could actually happen. I mean, why?
Some days later, I decided to do one final email to supporters and post one last time on facebook, and then make a decision based on the total funds I had received. I had a car lined up which was much cheaper, and ended up (after some process) letting go of the Mustang dream, as I realised I had enough money to buy and run a much cheaper car, but not enough to buy and run a Mustang. I figured, that although it would be disappointing, it would be fine to leave America this year with an unfulfilled Mustang promise (I’d just have to come back!) and I would rather be a great steward of the money He has given me, than over-exhuberant in trying  make a prophetic word happen, and be a bad steward in the process. So I laid it down, found a cheaper car and began discussing the price. I was getting a car, and was choosing to praise! The next day, Kris Vallotton preached in School and randomly said ‘why would you buy an expensive car and not have money to put gas in it?!’ Haha. I knew God was confirming I had made a great decision, and did not have to fight to make my own dreams happen. And none of the fundraising would have happened without the whole process anyway.
And then… (you know who you are) I woke up to an extravagantly surprisingly kind email saying I was getting some extra money donated. A large amount! Suddenly i was back in the financial bracket where I could afford to buy and run a second hand mustang. WHAT??!!! I just laid it down and God put it right back in my lap! After a morning of speechless shock, I test drove a Red Mustang that afternoon. In shock. Laughing. Amazed.
That car ended up not being a great option for me and after looking at a few more I found one to look at a few days later. I drove to see it – and do not have space here to account for the things God began to teach me as I looked at it – to summarise – I discovered some areas of my life I really needed more of God’s truth to invade – and He came and helped me out! I realised buying cars is scary (!), I was afraid of failing or making a mistake, but even if I bought a bad car (second hand cars are risky!) I cannot fail with God! Success looks like trust and being in relationship not an outcome. And He has got my back. I realised He wants to be my covering in the practical issues of my life. He wants to actually help me out with the details (like finding mechanical people to come with me, financial practicalities, even since then – i had a dream about a screw in my tire before it happened, and it caused no damage because I found it fast because he warned me!). He showed me how I shouldn’t be embarrassed by His abundance – this car is bright and visible – I can’t hide in it! But the alternative, He showed me, to embracing His abundance, was spending my life apologising for it, or running from it. Neither of them are great options. If He wants to love me out loud, I want to say YES!
There were so many other things He showed me in the process. As I came back to Redding and spent some time deciding what to do, He started talking to me even more. At the ‘end’ of this process he showed me something that blew me away (and still does)… I thought this whole journey was about a car, but it wasn’t about a car, it was about His nature. It was an invitation for me into a new season, a new understanding of who He is. My car isn’t just a one of gift, it’s a gateway and a door into a new thing. He is the abundant giving God. He spoils His children!
The day I bought the car, after God resolving the final practical issues on the very day of the purchase (I just had to let go, and let Him figure it out!), I drove it away stunned. ‘You don’t seem very excited’ one of the guys who was with me commented. I began to tell Him the story which I just told you, and why it was I was struggling to digest and process the fact that I was actually driving away a red convertible Mustang, that was mine. He looked at me, surprised, and said ‘Don’t be ridiculous. This is just metal! You are worth way more than this car!’ Haha… after all that journey, of months (March to September) of trying to figure out I was worth it, God just raised the bar.
Every time I drove somewhere for the next few weeks, and even now when I walk towards my car, I just think, God, I LOVE my car! People tell me its a really ‘me’ car, it really suits me. I had no idea I could suit a car like that! God got me a car that I didn’t even know or ever dream I wanted. I love it! Every day I sit in the provision and abundance of God. He really is that good.
On top of that I have already been able to help out and serve in many many ways that simply would not have been possible without a car. Stories I can’t all put online. But to those that gave, thank you. Not only is God loving me, daily, through your generosity, but lots of people are getting ministered to and loved because of it too.
And since then, I just keep seeing more Mustangs everywhere. Literally every time I drive somewhere, I see them. I can’t escape! As someone said to me the other day, it’s because it was always about more than a car, it is about an understanding of who God is. I smiled. They, not knowing every detail of the story, were more accurate than they knew!
God loves me. And He is abundantly Good. What is He inviting you to understand about Him more today?
Enjoying the goodness of God in many senses at Whiskeytown Lake
God has spoke to me so much through rainbows about His promises… and this was a week after I bought the car, at a retreat with school. 🙂 He loves me.
Oh and by the way… a Mustang is a wild horse… and my name means lover of horses. So much prophetic symbolism in there! 🙂
Horse on my wheel… symbol, for me, of God’s call on my life. I sit, daily, in my prophetic promises!
I spent a lot of days taking photos of my car when I went to get in it. 🙂
That’s a happy… I just bought this Mustang face!
touchingheavenchangingearth 